Quietly Acknowledging Grief In The Workplace

Dealing with grief is a skill that you will never be able to master but you will hopefully be able to fill in the cracks when they appear. The reason is that grief never goes away, you just get used to it and you begin to find your own coping mechanisms as time goes by. One of the most difficult aspects of grief is that life goes on as normal and nothing stops because you are grieving. It can seem so very unfair.

Working environments are usually busy and noisy and while your colleagues may or may not be aware of how raw your emotions are on a particular day or time, work continues as it always has. If you have had time off work due to a loss then it is inevitable that you will receive some well intended comments and smiles but you may find that some people avoid you as they are uncomfortable with saying the wrong thing to you, so give you a wide berth altogether.

As time passes, there will inevitably be anniversaries and reminders of your loss and on these occasions you will be feeling reflective and may want to have a quieter day than usual, especially as memories and thoughts often become more poignant at these times. Years may have passed by but the grief remains. It may have changed but it will always be there and can affect you when you least expect it and in different ways. Whether you are grieving for a recent passing or one that happened twenty years previously, your feelings are still very valid.

Acknowledging your own grief is a crucial aspect of your own care and your emotional wellbeing. Discreetly finding a quiet space in your working environment where you can sit and take a few moments to recognise how you are feeling can provide comfort and security. This can be a quiet corner or a vacant office, perhaps even walking to another department and back again can give you the time to compose yourself.

Being aware of your breathing actually can help and by taking some slow deep breaths and then  exhaling slowly when you feel your emotions rising can go a long way in restoring a feeling of being back in control and more calm.  It often helps when you exhale to imagine any negative feelings being expelled.

Use your breaks wisely especially if you prefer to be alone for a while. Enjoying a coffee by yourself or taking a short walk alone can provide moments of solace and allow you to acknowledge your grief without drawing attention to yourself.

You probably already do this, but it is wise to keep some essentials such as tissues, water or any other comforting items close by which will help you to manage your emotions discreetly.

You may wish to keep your private life private for various reasons but it often helps to confide in a trusted colleague or a manager on why you may be feeling especially sensitive. They may prove to be a source of support and understanding. While no two people handle grief the same, having colleagues that care about your wellbeing, receiving empathy and just knowing that someone cares can help enormously.

Grief is part of life and it is entirely natural to experience it and the range of often unexpected emotions that accompany it. Acknowledging it quietly is a healthy way to cope while maintaining work responsibilities. Prioritising your self care needs and finding different strategies to manage your emotions can help you navigate through challenging times. If you do find that you are struggling and you feel that you are not coping well, there are several well known professional organisations that can help. These are staffed by experts, often open 24/7 and are easily accessed online.